SYL Challenge Week 11 - Kindness, Gratitude and Altruism

Now this is an interesting week...lets see if I can articulate this...

...balancing altruism and kindness, and gratitude. 

When I was little I had a save the snail club. On wet days I would dodge all snails and would insist that anyone with me do the same. Then I moved onto saving ants which needless to say was quite a challenge. I kind of set myself up to fail with that one. Once mum found a teddy bear left in the park next door. I felt so sorry for this bear losing it's owner, I made her wash it and I looked after him. 

Like my mother, stray animals would find me and they would be brought home and never leave. Mum's house was and still is, always filled with cats and dogs she and we kids have found. 

At school I was horrified to see a girl called Lily was regularly being picked on so I made friends with her and tried to stand up for her. Other kids would mash her sandwiches into the dirt and be really cruel. I would always think, "imagine how I would feel if that were me?". So I have always stood up for the underdog, I have always tried to do kind things for people and I certainly have always tried to 'save' people, usually to my own detriment. 

My sense of altruism it seems was alive and well from an early age before I even understood what it was!

Now I am older, I cannot fathom how some people seem to have no sense of altruism towards other people and other living creatures. What happens to these people? One would think altruism is innate in all, the very essence of character and relationships and love. So when people seem to have no altruism and do not extend kindness to others I cannot understand it. 

But, there needs to be a very careful balance because giving non-stop can be exhausting especially if you forget to look after yourself. Which is kind of why I am here doing this challenge. 

Nursing was a great outlet for my over-active altruistic feelings. I was able to give all day long which felt awesome, and naturally gravitated towards looking after the homeless. I loved it and of course wanted to bring homeless people home all the time (which I didn't actually do) 

Anyways, after a few significant events at work and home that left me pretty battered and bruised emotionally, and lets just say I became a bit compassion weary and I began to realise I needed a better balance of giving to others and giving to myself, and I tried to learn how to say 'no' more. Sadly I also realised that some people are just takers, and take advantage of people extending kindness.

So while I love Deb's challenge this week about extending more kindness, I think we need to be very mindful of having a balance in this area. I will continue to do what I can, but  over the last few years I have tried to keep my altruism and acts of kindness a bit more local. If people have continually abused my kindness, I have stop extending it. I always try to help my family, extended family and my friends and still to my own detriment sometimes, but not to the extent as I might have once before. I still do little random acts of kindness for people and will try to do more of this where I can. I love the way it feels to leave people feeling happy and positive. 

Some things don't change much though, the lost animals still seem to regularly find their way to my mum and I for saving and I still rescue little creatures....hence the mouse in our lounge room living it up on potato chips because I don't have the heart to harm it. 

While I have always felt grateful for what I have, gratitude is something an area I have been learning much more about over the last few months. I think it is an age thing as well as recent events prompting a deeper look at what I have to be grateful for. Thinking about my friend who is sick has certainly heightened this for me lately as well. 

As Deb from Home Life Simplified writes in her blog, "let go of the need to be right and choose happiness". I love this. I am trying to do this more. I am also trying to pick my battles better as some things are just not that important when it comes down to it. For example, Emilie wanting beef noodles for breakfast on a Saturday morning is not worth the argument that would ensue if I said no. Is it really important, as annoying as it is, which house dweller used the last of the toilet paper? It is not really worth getting upset about when others are facing much bigger issues in their life. It is ok to grumble and let off steam about life's little annoyances and inconveniences but taking minor things too seriously is a waste of energy in the bigger scheme of things. 

I am learning to take more careful note of the many things I have to be grateful for, and I will think about the ways of incorporating a daily gratitude ritual into my life. The recent photo a day challenge was great for focusing on the things I have around me to be grateful for. I know I am certainly becoming more in tune than ever for the people, things and simply pleasure in my life I have to be grateful for.