Week 4 SYL Challenge: Wheel of Life

So the Week 4 challenge is pretty cool, creating my wheel of life. There are no real surprises to me here, but being a visual sort of gal, it is very interesting to see at a glance the areas of my life I feel are going pretty well, the areas that need some attention or intensive care and where a better balance can be sought.

Clearly two of the three lowest ranked categories are the areas concerned with looking after myself better. It is not that I don't want to look after myself, it is just everything else seems to come before looking after me. I need to make looking after my mind and body a priority for a change.


Money and finances are big and scary for us at the moment. We simply don't have much and we going backwards. Without going into detail, this category on my wheel is in need of urgent attention!


Quality time with my girl needs to be more of a priority. We have had lots of fun together over the holidays but when she goes back to school next week there will be much less time. When we get home after work and school, instead of doing things that can wait I need to spend more fun and quality time with her. It makes us both happy and there should be much more of it. When she asks me to play with her I need to respond more often with an enthusiastic "yes" instead of a tired "not now" or "I'm busy at the moment". She is almost seven and in a few years I will be embarrassing and she won't want to hang out me with so I need to make spending time with her more of a priority more often. 


Managing everything that needs to be done at home and keeping it neat is a juggle for most people I would think. I try to have a good balance of looking after the home along with everything else I need to do but it is difficult when our little house has a stream of people staying, coming and going most of the time: us, 6year old, Sir Eric Cat, friends, family, partner's kids, kid's girlfriend, extended family and friends of kids......... 
Now I love my little family and I love having people around, but sometimes it feels like the walls are closing in and I just want my space and for the home to look nice! Six year olds for a start make a shit load of mess. They flit from one activity to another without a care in the world. Half a dozen outfit changes in a day is not uncommon. They can't understand that glueing / painting sand art on the carpet is a problem.  The bigger kids are also challenging and can be very slothy. They sleep a lot, talk half hour showers and do a lot of laying around on couches when they are awake. Don't get me wrong, they do work and don't make huge mess but it is the lying around that annoys me. And they sit in my chair! Sounds petty I know but it really riles me! Anyway.....I think when it comes to the home category on my 'wheel of life', I have an ok good balance given the traffic and activity through our little house.  


I wont go on about my work category because when I talk about my work people do the polite "yeah sounds interesting" but their eyes glaze over with boredom. Yes I admit my work sounds very friggen boring to others but after all the shit in my recent work past it is a breath of fresh air.  I have the fortune of working part time at the moment and getting paid a lot. This situation has an end date but it means at the moment a great work / life balance for me. I expect the current 'rating' of my work category on the wheel to change (and not for the better) throughout the year.


I love spending time with my partner and connecting with my family and friends and I do a lot of it, but I need to balance this better with solo time. Left in my own company for too long is never a good idea for me but I am learning to do this more and more and that i need it for my own sanity. I try to stay busy socially and spending time with my partner and friends because it makes me feel energised and happy but I need to prioritise solo time for me more often. I am hoping to find a better balance of connecting with others and finding that self / creative time that is so important. 


Well that was a very cool challenge and it will be even more interesting to periodically review it over the coming months to see if/where there is progress. 

Week 3 SYL Challenge: Mission Statement

Mission Statements are not new to me but my first thought coming from a background as manager it sounds like the many bullshitty buzz words people like to use like process, silo, best practice, mid set, competency etc etc

As much as I love the idea of getting family on board to come up with a Mission Statement, it is complicated. Before I married my ex husband and I had marriage lessons, fat lot of good that did! In fact we found we were mostly incompatible, ignored the signs and got married anyway and of course it failed. Anyway, what was suggested in marriage lessons was to have regular family meetings, have a mission statement and set short and long term goals for the family. I loved the idea but I seemed to be the only one striving to achieve the goals.


My immediate little family now consists of me, my 6 year old daughter, my partner, and sometimes my partner's children (and girlfriend) who come and go when it suits. I can imagine the response I would get if I asked them to participate. 


So, as this challenge is about simplifying my life and my journey at the moment, rather than a grand Mission Statement for the family, I have put together a very quick, simplistic and practical list of things for ME to focus on this year.......

• Spend more quality time with Emilie; playing games, being silly, fun outing, reading stories, more hugs and less time saying 'don't' or 'wait a minute', 'maybe later' etc
• Spend more one to one quality time with my Mum 
• Make sure Michael and I have our solo time together as well as solo time apart as this keeps our relationship nice and healthy :)
• More time spent on being creative including sewing, cooking, taking photos, scrap booking and writing
• Plan lots of fun times with our family and friends
• Less multitasking to try and slow down my life a little. Focus on one thing at a time
• Do not get involved in other's people's negative behaviour and surround myself with positive people who want to be around me!
• Each week, contact a good friend who I haven't seen for a while. 
• Look after myself emotionally and physically, make this one a priority!
• Remain calm during times of stress and when I feel the anxiety rising stop and take a moment before reacting 
• Try my 15 min housework theory to stay on top of the 'big' jobs
• Let go of the lingering negative work crap, yes it was unfair and still is, yes it was life changing, but it is past history so don't dwell on it ever again
• More random acts of kindness and paying it forward
• More reading, learning and self development
• Progress my little part time business idea, it is now or never!
• Dont set myself up for disappointment
• Avoid procrastination

I am sure others will come mind but for now this is a start. 

Off now to sew my 'Pay It Forward' gifts......

Week 2 SYL Challenge: Define Your Values

Ok, so I have managed to procrastinate for 2 weeks about the Week 2 challenge to define my values but the time has come! Finding a moment of reflective solo time amid our busy blended family life was also a challenge over the last few weeks, but that is another blog! 


Making a list of my values was not the difficult part of this challenge. Narrowing down my list of values to five core ones, and prioritise these was the biggest stumbling block. I kept chopping and changing the order and found myself questioning why I placed one value ahead of the other or why I omitted it from my 5 final values.


My first list of values in no particular looked like this:
Respect
Honesty 
Authenticity
Happiness
Health
Love
Kindness
Self Development
Creativity
Family
Resilience
Connectedness
Fairness


So without too much explaining why, or I will never get through this challenge, here goes with my 5 core values........


1. Love


Loving myself, loving my family and friends, showing love in my actions towards others, and being loved. Without getting cheesy and philosophical, I believe love is the biggie. From loving others and being loved comes compassion, happiness, fun, positivity, motivation, kindness, selflessness, change, feedback, forgiveness.......my list would go on. 


2. Connectedness


I am a person who is uplifted and energised by my connectedness with others, particularly with family and friends. There are times when I crave solo time and enjoy my own company for a while however for the most part I feel more happier, more creative and energetic around others. 


3. Fairness


This was the value that jumped out at me when I began this challenge. Fairness is huge for me. I detest unfairness, injustice and disloyalty and will advocate till it hurts if I feel I or others (especially those who have trouble defending themselves) have been mistreated by dishonest and untrustworthy people.  I should pop the word selfish under here just for good measure because selfish people often treat others unfairly.


4. Kindness


For me, kindness encompasses acceptance, care, sincerity, generosity and authenticity. My mother taught me all I know about kindness, she lives it in everything she does. I try to show kindness and care to everyone I come in contact with, sometimes to my own detriment, and sometimes I don't do it as well as I could, but I would definitely consider kindness as a 'building block' in my life. There should be more random acts of kindness and generosity in the world and thanks to a gentle reminder from a friend, I am going to try and do more of this and paying it forward because it feels sooooo good.


5. Self Development


Self development is important to me and I feel like I have neglected this value a little. This is partly why I am doing the SYL challenge and writing again. I need to reclaim and invest a little more time in my personal growth, learning and creating and I am already feeling the benefits!


Mission Statement here I come.....


I hope Week 4's challenge is something like re-organising my linen cupboard or similar!

A reflection on 2011, what went 'right'

So, here I am, week #1 of the ’52 weeks to simplify your life challenge’: Reflect on 2011, what went right, what energized me and what I am grateful for. Here goes.......

I had actually felt 2011 was a bit of a blah blah year for me especially when compared to fabulous years like 07, my best year ever!! However on reflection a lot went ‘right’ for me this year and I have much to be grateful for. I have been reading and loving the blogs of other ladies taking on this challenge as I have never blogged before. I wish I knew how to attach links and photos but I will learn more about this blogging business as I go along….

Anyway I went of track (which I do often)…….

2011 what went 'right' and what am I grateful for?

Starting briefly with the biggies.....


I am so very grateful for my healthy happy little girl.

I am grateful for a wonderful caring and loving man in my life. 

I am grateful for my parents, brother and sister and all their love and support. 

I am grateful for my friends, new and old who enrich my life.

There were many positives throughout 2011 starting with my Miss Emilie starting school and thankfully loving it. The transition from kinder to school is such a nervous time as you hope you have made the right decision on school and you want them to thrive, grow and make new friends. Thankfully she did all that and so did I. What an amazingly proud moment to see my little girl in her school uniform on that first day. And I love this school too. It has no resemblance to the greyness of schools that I remember as a child. This is a place where the grass is always green, the birds are singing, everyone is always cheery and the kids are happy. This was to be the place where I met many lovely mums, and one person in particular who would become a very close friend over the course of the year. She is just about to arrive with her snowy haired boy for a play date! 

In 2011 I was also very fortunate to change to a new job and new location after much stress and uncertainly following redeployment (that is a long painful story not for here) I suddenly found myself working among strong, knowledgeable, understanding women and learning so many new skills. I found out I loved research! Yuk you might say but I love it. 

A huge positive this year was that I was able to keep working part time and therefore was able to play a big part in Emilie's first year at school and spend time regularly helping at school, do the school drop off and be there most afternoon to see the school bags on legs running up the hill each afternoon screaming “Mum!”. Hot food days were a hilarious highlight, trying to make 250 hot dogs and watching 9 or 10 mum all trying to be assertive and chief in the kitchen! 

In a year that saw many of our friends and family struggling with health issues and injuries, I am grateful for my relatively good health in comparison to many others around me. Regular myotherapy appointments generally keep my aches and pains at bay and while I am forever worried about my weight, I am thankfully feeling and 'looking well’ (touch wood)

Another positive moment of 2011 was when Michael and I took off for (what is becoming) our annual 4 day romantic getaway to QLD and this year we returned to one of our favourite places, Palm Cove. It is such dreamy relaxing place to go, I never tire of it. We had a great time just enjoying time with each other and we met some lovely people.

2011 saw us have many many good times at home with family and friends. We partied hard this year with numerous spa nights, the grand final celebration, Halloween, Christmas and many others.

When I reflect back I think I was also a little gentler on myself this year and more able to go with the flow when things changed or plans derailed as they invariably do. Michael would probably disagree with me but I feel I have grown in that area.

I am excited by this 52 week challenge for a number of reasons. It is wonderful first challenge to take a moment to look back at 2011, reflect on the positives and take stock of all the things in my life that I am grateful for. It has already energized me for the year ahead! 

Bring on challenge #2

To blog or not to blog, that is the the question

For many years I kept a daily diary, a record of my hormonal and erratic teenage thoughts complete with sealed sections, memorabilia and a rating depending how crap the day had been. The diaries stopped suddenly one day when I had not written for a while and felt compelled to recap all the days I had missed. I decided the pressure to write had overtaken the pleasure of writing. Many times over the last 20 years I have wanted to journal again but I put it off for the same reason, the feeling I needed to recap all the 'missed' years. 


Two days ago I came across a site on Facebook via a a childhood friend's page: Deb Dane's Home Life Simplified (HLS), a 52 week challenge to affecting change in your life and setting and achieving personal goals during for the year. As a born organiser and list maker, but also a person who has lost her way a little bit of late and is somewhat fearful of that feeling, this really appealed to me. On delving further, this year long challenge promises to go deep and look at big scary stuff like fear, motivation and achieving goals. Heavy shit I know, but probably the thing I need right now in my life.


So, a blog was suggested as the best way to record and share my learnings and experiences across the year. I also saw it as a no pressure way to dive into journalling again and to see if I can actually still write! So while this inaugural blog is not especially funny, I will be recording my HLS 52 week challenge experience regularly, hopefully rediscovering more of my creative side and maybe sharing some of my wacky family's antics along the way......